I am back! I know October is almost over, but I have been working hard all weekend to catch up with that Inktober to-do list I made. I am determined to be caught up by the end of the week.
Day 7: Shy
“All Eyes On Me”
“That kid who always sat by herself at recess, who went the whole day without saying a word, and who you saw in the halls that interacted with no one, that was always me. I have always suffered from social anxiety, but I never knew there was an actual name for it until I was older. As a child, I always thought there was something wrong with me. I never liked playing with the other kids, I had nothing to say to anyone, and I never quite fit in. I was always like a puzzle piece that got mixed in with the wrong set. There were a few kids who attempted to be my friend, but I always was too shy to speak. As a result, most people bullied me as opposed to trying to get to know me because it was so much easier to call the odd one out a weirdo and retarded. Though my desire to be alone subsided as I reached my adolescent years, I still had been too socially awkward to properly communicate with anyone. My years of isolation and being mocked to a point where I could barely utter a single word without being teased caused me to develop an inferiority complex so strong that I had been unable to speak without stuttering, shaking, and reflecting on everything I would say to someone afterwards. Even if they weren’t judging me, my mind would convince me otherwise. Though I have become much more self-confident thanks to years of being involved with theatre, being in college, and the various jobs working with people that I have had, I still struggle with being more sociable and with feeling like everyone is silently judging me. I hear the voices of those that had teased me growing up for being socially awkward in my head, and I obsessively overthink everything I say and do in my head. Thanks to social anxiety, I feel like everyone is always laughing at me internally, and like everyone’s eyes were on me.”
So I posted “Poison Apple” last week and said that it had a part two, well this is the part two. It’s the aftermath of my “Poison” drawing. If you haven’t seen it check it out. It’s my Day 3 submission
“Ode to my First Love: The Snake”
“After she took the bite, what ensued was months of manipulation and deceit. He had blessed her with words no man had spoken to her in years. Words that, at the time, she wanted to here. Still, words were meaningless without action, and despite her spreading her legs for him every week, he did not seem to keep up with his promise. In fact, the more she had given her body to him, the more he drifted away from her. The more he presented her with the feeling of closeness that intimacy brings, the more she fell for him against her own wishes. She attempted to stop herself, but she lost that internal battle. She sucummbed to the effect of the poison he had filled her with that summer before and fell hard. He was not there, however, to catch her. Instead he began to limit their hangouts to only messing around and saying that he had feelings for her but she did not have what he was looking for. Still, she clung onto him, he did have a piece of her no one else would ever have after all. He knew that, in fact, he knew that she was head over heels for him. He also knew that she was nothing more than a fuck he could keep around until he got bored, so he decided to string her along for his needs. He wrapped his slithering body around her and continued to fill her with his venom to keep her attached so he wouldn’t lose his little play toy. When her demands for commitment he promised to her became to overwhelming, he decided she wasn’t worth it. He left her to give someone else the one thing he promised but never gave her, a relationship. At that time she realized not only had she been played, but that she did love him but his “feelings” were never there for her. Her first love never loved her back, and the poison he filled her with killed her internally.”
Sorry for the flood of art on WordPress, I’ve just become so obsessed with art and am improving so I want to share it as much as possible. For those interested in more of my art, follow lisawolfs_artgram for more.
I still haven’t forgotten about my book, About Last Night. The preview will be up soon 🙂
I really need a scanner 😦
This is one I was looking forward to for a while, mainly because I had never drawn animals before. Also because I wanted to give a message.
Day 10-1: The Cat (Female) from Anthromorphic People prompt
“Not a Compliment”: “I was ten years old when a guy first looked at me sexually. I was eleven when a guy on the internet who stalked an older friend of mine preyed on me because I was “cute”. I was fourteen when a Senior pulled me onto his lap at a high school dance. I was also fourteen when a guy stalked me home for the first time no matter how much I ignored him. I was sixteen when an guy grabbed my ass at a party and attempted to take advantage of the fact that I was drunk, and that same night the ‘friend’ I came with just laughed at this and left me to fend for myself. At seventeen I was called ugly and a bitch by guys online just because I wouldn’t send nudes. I was eighteen when a Professor that I trusted had become too friendly with me. I was also eighteen when a “boyfriend” I had at the time blamed a few guys making lewd comments toward me on the fact that I was wearing shorts. I was nineteen when someone another student in my college at the time had stalked me through Facebook and my classes and I was told that it wasn’t stalking if he wasn’t directly behind me. I was twenty when I was catcalled in the hallways at work and when I reported it, another girl who overheard said he only did it because “I’m pretty.” Earlier this year, I was harassed by a “friend” from high school and a guy on the train followed me and threatened to beat me up if I kept ignoring him and pulled out a pair of dirty panties from his bag. I am twenty-one going on twenty-two and I still face these harassments on the street, the “hey sexy”s and the lewd comments about me as if I am a piece of meat. It is not a boost to my self-esteem, and it is not a compliment. I am a human, not a cat, so don’t make kissy noises at me.”
For more, follow my art instagram, lisawolfs_artgram 🙂
About Last Night preview coming Soon!
Yet another one a day late ;-; This whole week has been very crazy so I apologize. I hope to catch up today or tomorrow.
For more of my art for Inktober, follow my art Instagram, lisawolfs_artgram and my DeviantArt lonewolf712
This one was done by Staples brand pens, and Gelly Roll pens by @sakuraofamerica
This one was rushed, but this is it:
Day 3: Poison
“Ode to my First Love: The Poisonous Apple”
(This one is a two-parter. Part 2 will come with a future prompt.)
“Her whole world was crashing in front of her. She felt overwhelmed to a point where just getting out of bed and living her day to day life was exhausting. When she no longer desired to be alive, he came into her life like a knight in shining armor. Her night in shining armor. He seemed as sweet as an apple, but she was hesitant to take a bite. She was vulnerable however, and he knew to say all the right things. Beautiful, smart, valuable, all the things she wanted to hear from a guy but was deprived of all her life. Her inferiority complex caused her to believe that she needed a man to tell her these thing in order to feel validated. In her eyes, he was perfect and she did not hesitate to give him a part of her that was so pure and valuable. A part of her no one else had. In her eyes, he was worthy of it. Little did she know, he was venomous. He was filled with a poison that would soon take over her body, but she was too naive and inexperienced to realize until after she took a bite. He only wanted one thing, and a virgin girl in her late teens seemed like the perfect target to fill his poison with.”
Day 1 of Inktober! For those of you who don’t know, Inktober is a challange to post 1 drawing every day of October using only ink. (You can use pencil to sketch then trace over it) I am only decent at art, but I decided to give Inktober a try. This one really took me a while to finish due to all the color, but after nearly a week I have finished It! I made this solely using gel pens I bought from Blick Art Materials and from Sharpie Fine-Tip pens. Picking a prompt was so hard because I found so many I wanted to do for each day but I have decided which ones I will pick each day and save the other ideas I had for the future. I will be picking from different prompts each day. The prompt I picked I found from an artist on Tumblr. The prompt was “The Dreamer” from his Space Travelers prompt. Here is the background of my Ink adaption of the prompt, “Life Beyond Earth”:
“As she looks into the night sky, her eyes filled with wonder, she envisions many different galaxies and planets inhibited by other beings alien to humanity. She desires nothing more than to be a part of their world and to admire the beauty that the other planets bestow. There’s a whole universe out there, and she knew that. She knew that there was a life beyond Earth, and she wanted to experience it all.” It’s not the best and I know I can improve but that’s the whole point of this isn’t It?
For more of my art as well as the rest of my contributions to Inktober, you can follow my lisawolfs_artgram Instagram and my DeviantArt LoneWolf712.deviantart.com. ❤
For those wondering, I have not forgotten “About Last Night”. I have been really busy with work and editing the story and my art, but I can guarantee the preview will be up soon. Thank you for your patience ❤
One issue I have noticed when it comes to writers, is that we focus so much in creating something perfect. While editing and revising is indeed necessary, sometimes even in the writing process, so much attention is focused on being perfect that the final product does not come out as great as it could have been. When I write creatively, I do outline, but I also release my thoughts freely and worry about editing and cutting things out or adding things in later. I find that the best thoughts and stories come out when you stop being so anxious about what you are writing from your mind freely and not worrying about perfection every moment you write.
That being said, I will be working on a mini series called “My Thoughts” where I share experiences to prove a point, and to further prove the point I will add a section that is unedited and unrevised, as it just directly will come from my mind. This shall make more sense when the series is released, and it will be released tomorrow, 10/21, through Thursday, 10/27. My first post deals with anxiety, my experiences with having it, and a look into what a thought train is like for someone with an anxiety
For those interested, please look out for a link to the first post on WordPress tomorrow which I will post tomorrow, and to follow the rest of my series and my other blog posts, like my Facebook page, Lisa Speaks Out
For the time being, you can check out my latest post ranting about Donald Trump.