Tag Archives: Beauty

Inktober Day 3: Ode to My First Love, The Poisonous Apple

Yet another one a day late ;-; This whole week has been very crazy so I apologize. I hope to catch up today or tomorrow.

For more of my art for Inktober, follow my art Instagram, lisawolfs_artgram and my DeviantArt lonewolf712 

This one was done by Staples brand pens, and Gelly Roll pens by @sakuraofamerica 

 This one was rushed, but this is it:

Day 3: Poison

“Ode to my First Love: The Poisonous Apple” 

(This one is a two-parter. Part 2 will come with a future prompt.) 

“Her whole world was crashing in front of her. She felt overwhelmed to a point where just getting out of bed and living her day to day life was exhausting. When she no longer desired to be alive, he came into her life like a knight in shining armor. Her night in shining armor. He seemed as sweet as an apple, but she was hesitant to take a bite. She was vulnerable however, and he knew to say all the right things. Beautiful, smart, valuable, all the things she wanted to hear from a guy but was deprived of all her life. Her inferiority complex caused her to believe that she needed a man to tell her these thing in order to feel validated. In her eyes, he was perfect and she did not hesitate to give him a part of her that was so pure and valuable. A part of her no one else had. In her eyes, he was worthy of it. Little did she know, he was venomous. He was filled with a poison that would soon take over her body, but she was too naive and inexperienced to realize until after she took a bite. He only wanted one thing, and a virgin girl in her late teens seemed like the perfect target to fill his poison with.” 

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Inktober: Day 1 

Day 1 of Inktober! For those of you who don’t know, Inktober is a challange to post 1 drawing every day of October using only ink. (You can use pencil to sketch then trace over it) I am only decent at art, but I decided to give Inktober a try. This one really took me a while to finish due to all the color, but after nearly a week I have finished It! I made this solely using gel pens I bought from Blick Art Materials and from Sharpie Fine-Tip pens. Picking a prompt was so hard because I found so many I wanted to do for each day but I have decided which ones I will pick each day and save the other ideas I had for the future. I will be picking from different prompts each day. The prompt I picked I found from an artist on Tumblr. The prompt was “The Dreamer” from his Space Travelers prompt. Here is the background of my Ink adaption of the prompt, “Life Beyond Earth”: 


“As she looks into the night sky, her eyes filled with wonder, she envisions many different galaxies and planets inhibited by other beings alien to humanity. She desires nothing more than to be a part of their world and to admire the beauty that the other planets bestow. There’s a whole universe out there, and she knew that. She knew that there was a life beyond Earth, and she wanted to experience it all.” It’s not the best and I know I can improve but that’s the whole point of this isn’t It? 

For more of my art as well as the rest of my contributions to Inktober, you can follow my lisawolfs_artgram Instagram and my DeviantArt LoneWolf712.deviantart.com. ❤ 
For those wondering, I have not forgotten “About Last Night”. I have been really busy with work and editing the story and my art, but I can guarantee the preview will be up soon. Thank you for your patience ❤ 

The Bridge

The bridge was long;
Stretched out from the busy City Hall streets,
To the quiet, serene Brooklyn streets.
Below it is the East river
On it is the soles of pedestrians,
And turning of bike tires.

Upon curiosity, I took an expedition
Across this bridge, on a warm late spring morning.
Joining the tourists, the cyclists, the joggers,
I took a mile-long walk across this bridge.
On this walk, I never returned
For I became lost in the beauty of the flowing, glistening river.

As I walked, I observed the bridge;
the long cables extended across to hold the bridge,
the stunning view of lady liberty and the Freedom tower,
Starving artists and their extraordinary drawings,
the highway that ascended on one side and descended on the other,
And the padlocks left by couples that symbolized everlasting love.

In the sky, the sun began to set in the horizon
Orange and red covered the sky,
And the reflection of the red took over the crystal-blue water.
The water carried cool air that slowly became colder,
as the gorgeous orange-red sky faded into darkness,
And very few living souls across the bridge remained.

Somewhere in between the padlocks resembling forever,
and tourists capturing the stunning sights of the bridge
I wound up in between the cables,
A direct view of that river beneath my feet
That became closer gradually
Until my body became in contact with the river

Somewhere along that beautiful bridge,
among the cries of,
“don’t do it,”
my body elevated into the sky
and gradually descended into the river.
No longer was that bridge in view.

Somewhere along that cold night in May,
as darkness consumed the sky,
on that bridge that was admired so greatly,
I took my final breaths.

 

 

“You are beautiful”

In the mirror she was hideous. She had scars all over her body and an overbite made up of bright yellow teeth and a plethora of pimples across her body. Her stomach poked a little big and her hips were larger than the rest of her body. Her eyebrows were as thick as the hair on her arms. Her eyelashes, however, were no longer thick as she pulled at them to relieve anxiety. She had the face that reflected that of a thirteen year old despite being twenty. Her light brown eyes depicted a sad, troubled young woman.
Perhaps that is why, the moment any man even remotely attractive called her beautiful, her legs spread open. One stroke to her ego, and she welcomed any intimacy in attempt to boost up her self-esteem.
When she fell into his arms and when he was inside her, she felt wanted.
She felt beautiful.
Until he pulled out and the affection was over. She was beautiful enough to have sex with, but not beautiful enough to pursue any further with.
She sat at home, looking at her face in the mirror. The mascara down her face, her eyes puffy, and her cheeks soaked with tears. His words sunk deeper than he would ever know, outweighing the impact of his claims that she was beautiful.
Pitiful. Repulsive. Unloved. Worthless. That was what she was.
Yet she longed pathetically to feel that high self esteem she felt when he complimented her and gave her the affection she felt she was far too ugly to get anywhere else.
So when he had left her to deal with the agony, the disgust with herself, and the constant belief that he had not desired anymore than what was under her clothes because she was repulsive, she looked in that mirror again.
She hoped to find that empowerment she felt when he had called her beautiful and did things to her body that made her feel beautiful, but instead she saw In the mirror she was hideous. She had scars all over her body and an overbite made up of bright yellow teeth and a plethora of pimples across her body. Her stomach poked a little big and her hips were larger than the rest of her body. Her eyebrows were as thick as the hair on her arms. Her eyelashes, however, were no longer thick as she pulled at them to relieve anxiety. She had the face that reflected that of a thirteen year old despite being twenty. Her light brown eyes depicted a sad, troubled young woman.
Until the next remotely attractive guy came along and called her beautiful. Then, she spread her legs, and the cycle continued.

Flawless

When I was twelve, I developed my first real crush on a boy. I had other little kid crushes before, but this one was the first to hit me like a big yellow school bus. (Cookie for you if you get the reference) It was the first time I had become aware of my feelings and, as a result, attempted to act upon them whenever he was near. As a result, I wound up humiliating myself and before long the majority of my middle school knew as well as the boy. His reaction? To send me hurtful messages online as well as inform me that I was considered by everyone, ‘the ugliest girl in school.’ To add insult to injury, he bragged about telling me this to kids in our class the next day. 
As one can imagine, these word hurt me a great deal. Not only did I cry myself to sleep that night, I would stare at myself in the mirror and believe it. I would believe that I was indeed the ugliest girl you can meet. As a kid, I never quite fit in. Not only because even then I was quiet, but also because I was not as physically attractive as any other girl. While many girls at that time already wore makeup, tight clothes, were developed, and had good skin, I stuck out immensely. I always wore my hair in a ponytail, my acne was so bad I had to wear my hair in bangs, I wore baggy clothes, I have always had a bad overbite, and I was as thin as a stick. I also was more pale-skinned in a school where no one else was, which was something I did not know I had to be insecure about until middle school. 

Kids can be mean, yes, but I was positive that this boy had not said it just to be mean. I believed it, simply because many kids had severely bullied me and made sure to point out all the flaws I mentioned above.  

I hated the girl in the mirror for long after this. I always questioned why I could not just look like other girls. Why my face couldn’t be clearer, why my teeth could not be straighter and whiter, why my hair was so out of control, why I couldn’t have a body like other girls, and why I always had to stand out in a crowd of girls. 

Years passed. I started getting thicker out of no where. My acne, while still existing today, cleared up more. My hair is still a knotty tangly mess, yet I can comfortably wear it down. I became more comfortable with my teeth, as it is just a part of who I am. Most people have accepted me for me and the bullying has subsided. 

And yet when I look in the mirror, I still don’t like who I see. 

And why is that? Because of a mean comment some bully made seven years ago? Maybe. 

Because I see other girls and wish to look more like them? Maybe. 

Because I allow the rude comments I still receive affect me? Maybe. 

Because society’s perception of beauty and what a woman should look like has corrupted my mind and thus made me believe that I should look a certain way? There you go. 

Think about it, if we were not conditioned to believe we had to look a certain way, would we care about our appearance? 

I know I would not care about my acne, my teeth, my hair, or my weight. It’s all imperfect, but it’s who I am. I believe I can still be beautiful even with all these physical flaws. Yet because of what I see other girls looking like, or striving to look like, and because of the comments I still receive, when I look at myself all I see is a pimply-faced, messy-haired girl with an overbite. Most recently, I have started getting shit about my weight. 

Comments I receive: 

-Have you ever thought about getting braces? 

-Ew what happened to your face? 

-You used to be so skinny, what happened to you? 

-Did you let yourself go because you broke up with your boyfriend? 

-You should do something about those pimples. 

And so forth. 

So, in the simplest terms, we can conclude that no one believes they are ugly. They are taught to believe that they are ugly. 

I want to believe that I am pretty. I want to look past my physical flaws. I want to quit feeling like I am the only girl who looks as imperfect as I do. I want to be able to feel comfortable I my own body. I want to believe a guy when he calls me beautiful. Most importantly, I want to believe that I am beautiful.

Yet with images of what we are expected to look like, for both men and women, that is nearly impossible. I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. 

It’s not just Hollywood, magazines, and commercials enforcing this artificial image of beauty, either. It’s little comments made by people we face in our every day lives that influence our perception of ourselves. Little comments such as that one by the boy from middle school about me being ugly, to a woman in a clothing store commenting on my weight just because I am not a size two, to a friend making a rude comment about me letting myself go due to something that happened months ago is enough to mess with someone’s brain. Even pointing out someones flaws such as pimples, overbites, and so on when it is not necessary is a form of insulting someone else’s appearance. You may think you are helping when you tell them to go use some acne cream or go get their teeth fixed, but in reality you are just bring attention to something they are already aware of and probably insecure about. You don’t even know if they are trying to take care of it or if it’s something they can’t help. 

Not everyone can have straight teeth. Not everyone can be the same weight. Not everyone can have clear skin. Not everyone can have flawless hair. Yet everyone could still believe that person they see in the mirror is beautiful if they view the person through their own eyes as opposed to the eyes that society wants them to look through. 

So stop perceiving yourself as ugly because of a few flaws. Realize that you are beautiful and having flaws are what make you even more beautiful. You are unique. 

You are you, and that’s okay.