Abuse

Abuse is not just physical or calling your partner names.
Abuse is making someone feel beneath you.
Abuse is mistreating your partner for problems in your life that is beyond their control.
Abuse is allowing others to insult and degrade your partner when your partner has done nothing to deserve it.
Abuse is manipulating your partner into believing that all the problems in the relationship is their fault.
Abuse is using your partners past mistakes against them.
Abuse is constantly screaming at your partner even when they are not raising their voice at you just because you have a mild disagreement. Everyone argues, but no one deserved to be yelled at. Abusers do this to have power in order to make up for their own insecurities.
Abuse is throwing a tantrum the moment things do not go your way. Your partner should not feel compelled to always do it your way.
Abuse is making your partner feel like they are walking on eggshells.
Abuse is accepting that you indeed possess toxic mannerisms, but doing nothing to change it. The only people who are “beyond help” are those who choose to live too much of their life not getting any help until it’s too late.
Abuse is finding any reason to blame your partner for everything that is wrong in the relationship. “Nothing is ever my fault, only theirs” is never a healthy mindset to have in the relationship because it often leads the other person to blame everything on themselves even when it’s not their fault because you lack the maturity to own up to your wrongdoings.
Abuse is not allowing your partner to defend themselves and verbally attacking them if they do. If you can have your say, then why can’t they?
Abuse is making your partner feel like they are walking on eggshells at all times.
Abuse is when your partner has no problem humiliating you in public or in front of your family and friends.
Abuse is when they always happen to be the victim in their past relationships. While this isn’t always a red flag, abusers will often call all their exes “psycho” or claim that they were always mistreated to gain sympathy and cover up their toxic behaviors.
Abuse is when you have to make excuses for your partners temper to a point where you begin to question your excuses yourself.
Abuse is when you find yourself googling “What is abuse?” Or “Signs of abuse” and finding themselves relating to most of or all the signs. Abuse is when you find yourself feeling anxious, depressed, and even suicidal around your partner.
Abuse is not just physical or calling your partner names.

And just because you do not believe that you are not an abuser does not mean that you aren’t.
Also, just because you do not believe that someone you call a friend or family member is capable of abuse does not mean that you should cover up their actions. Just because they are such a “nice and caring guy” to you does not mean that they are incapable of emotionally and/or verbally abusing their partner. More often than not, abusers are often “nice guys/girls”. If they possess an unhealthy tendency to lash out easily and their partner seems in distress around them often, then there is a sign that they may be abusing them in some way. Do not be an enabler of an abuser. You may not possess the ability to change them, but you can call them out for their abusive mannerisms.

Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. Even if you love them, love isn’t always enough to help a toxic person change their ways. Even if they do care about you, if they cared enough they would not hurt you. Even if you do not want to accept that the person you are with is abusive, if there are too many red flags then it is best not to ignore them. I did so with many of my exes because I found it was easier to stay and tolerate the abuse than accept that I was in an abusive relationship that I needed to get out of. Even if it is not easy to leave, if the person who is supposed to make you smile is constantly hurting you, making you cry, causing you to have panic attacks and even making you want to hurt yourself or worse, you need to let go. It will not be an easy feat, but after a while it will be refreshing.

Because even if you do not have any physical bruises or cuts, emotional abuse can still leave quite a scar.

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