Hello, everyone. It’s me, Lisa. So I have been working on this project for two months now. This project is my very own self-made project called “My Reasons Why.” I say self-made because I came up with this idea and the stories are real and personal. The idea was inspired by one of my all-time favorite books called “Thirteen Reasons Why” by Jay Asher. It’s an amazing book. I read it about four years ago for the first time during my senior year of high school. As some of you know from a previous video I posted, I was diagnosed with depression at that time. I felt alone and didn’t understand why I had to have this mental illness. I felt like no one understood what I had and I wasn’t fit to be alive because I was the only one who had this illness.
Then came “Thirteen Reasons Why.”
“Thirteen Reasons Why,” for those who have never read or heard of it, is about a girl named Hannah Baker who commits suicide and makes thirteen tapes to thirteen different people explaining why she killed herself. The thirteen people all played a role with her decision to kill herself. The story is narrated by a guy named Clay who was a former coworker of Hannah that had a crush on her and the tapes are narrated by Hannah before she killed herself. While these thirteen people did mistreat Hannah more than she deserved and remained ignorant on how depressed she was, did they really deserve to be blamed? It wasn’t their fault that Hannah clearly had depression that lead to her suicide just as much as it wasn’t Hannah’s fault that she was depressed. As I stated before, depression causes someone to feel never-ending sadness and it makes bad situations feel ten times worse. We’ve all had bullies, stalkers, and fake friends in our lives. While some of us can easily shake it off, those with depression end up obsessing over it and wonder what we had done to deserve it. Most people didn’t know Hannah was depressed, so that’s where it’s not their fault. No one told Hannah to kill herself or shoved the pills down her throat for her. That was her decision, yes. Her suicide, however, was a sign that people should really re-evaluate how they treat people because even if you don’t see how you treat someone as a big deal, it might be a big deal to them. No one wants to be depressed or can control how they feel.
In the case of people who the person reaches out, and Hannah did do that, then it is somewhat that person’s fault. I won’t spoil the book for those who want to read it, and I really do recommend the book. It’s amazing. It has suspense, it’s touching, it’s relatable, and it touches on depression and suicide beautifully. I’m not trying to advertise or anything but if you get the chance do go and read the book. Anyway, my point is that if someone comes to you showing signs that they are depressed and says that they want to give up or just says anything that hints to serious mental issues, it’s a cry for help. Ignoring it because it’s too much for you to handle is selfish and puts some of the blame on you because you knew and chose to ignore it. This is what happened in “Thirteen Reasons Why” and it happened to me too. One friend in my reasons why will be mentioned because they ignored an obvious cry for help. But more on that in another video.
So, why am I making this series? Why am I sharing my personal stories and relating it to this novel? I just want to say that first of all, I am not suicidal. This is not a copycat suicide or a cry for help. I hope you made it far enough to hear me say this before you call me up concerned or try to get me help. That is not why I am doing this at all. I am not doing this for pity or attention. I already know who really cares about me and that not everyone is going to take this the way they should. I am not trying to trash anyone who I mention or blame them for my depression. No one has intentionally caused me to feel depressed or suicidal. This video series will be to prove that depression is a real thing and that anything you say and do to someone can affect them in more ways than you think. In addition, my target audience is people who suffer from depression and are going through tough times and I just want them to know that they are not alone in this. I’m hoping that with sharing my encounters with people and situations that made me want to give up but I still kept going, I will help raise awareness and convince people to keep going like just as Hannah’s story did for me. I’ll get more into the moral behind this project in a much later video but this is just a little summary so that anyone coming across this knows what this is about and there is no harm intended behind these videos.
This will be a series of sixteen videos. There will be fifteen videos following this one consisting of my “Sixteen Reasons Why.” In other words, sixteen people who have impacted my life rather negatively and positively. Negatively because they mistreated me in some way that brought on the depression. Positively because they taught me a lesson and proved to me that I am strong enough to get through anything. This will somewhat follow Hannah’s method aside from the fact that I will not kill myself at the end and instead of sending it to each person individually I’m releasing it for everyone to see. For that reason I will not be using any real names out of respect for the person the story is about even if some of them don’t deserve any respect. Quite a number of them will never see the story anyway and the ones who do should be able to figure out who they are. The fifth reason why consists of two people. The sixteenth reason will be more general than based on one person but will still contribute to the story. So what will the final video be about? Well, we will find out when we get there.
This whole series was pre-written by me, so if you think you are on this list don’t bother trying to convince me to take you off. I’ve already made my list accordingly. Each video will be posted every other day during weekdays and will be posted on Saturday and Sunday. The list of people will be posted in chronological order according to how they appeared in my life aside from the first two since they are family. Don’t think that because you are number one or fifteen it means you are more or less guilty. Finally, I will be releasing text versions of the video to my blog.
Without further ado, I bring you “My Reasons Why,” a project by Lisa Marie. Hopefully, you will watch each video and understand each one. If you are one of the reasons why and this video series has made it to you, hopefully you understand your role in this instead of playing victim again.